Through the Looking Glass
by Darth Furby
Summary: [Chapter 4] Taichi gets as far as Yamato's door before running the other way. He goes back into the digital world, wanting nothing more than to go to home as himself this time. Of course, neither is as simple as originally thought.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This came to me after reading a Harry Potter fanfic concerning something called "Androgyny potion". This fanfic, being of course, Digimon, deals with gender-bending in a more, er "digital" way. ^_^ Hee. It will, of course, lead to yaoi. The couple? Taito, of course. Heeeeeeeeeeee. ^_^ Slightly, AU, but not too much (more explanation at the end). Anyways, enjoy and all that good shit.

Disclaimer: I swear, I really don't own Digimon. Even though I sometimes treat the characters like my own intellectual property, they really don't belong to me. Toei created the show, and owns the Japanese version, Bandai owns the toy line, and Saban recently sold the english dub to Sensation Animation. Now if you don't mind, I have a headache from explaining all that....

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"Why is it when I have time to do stuff, I never have anything I want to do?" I mumbled to myself, slouched in the chair facing my computer screen. I considered going in; the only person home to notice I was missing was my sister.

"Hmmm...mm...mm.."

_Why not._

I pulled open the drawer under the keyboard where I kept my digivice. I noticed a thin layer a of dust attempting to form and thwarted it. I punched in the command code for the digital gate that Koushirou had spent so many painstaking hours teaching me, and held my digivice up to the screen. I held my breath and pushed the enter button.

When I got my bearings, I knew at once where I was. I was near the right boundary of Agumon's territory. As I crunched through the brush trying to find a discernable trail I could use, I uncovered something very strange. It looked like a mirror, only it was hanging in midair and it was showing the reverse of the scenery I should have been seeing. Me, being the fantastic idiot that I am, reached out to touch it.

Bad Idea. I'm not exactly sure what happened next, just that it hurt. A lot. When I came to, I was lying on my back, slightly dazed. I stood up, only to fall back down from dizziness.

"Oww.." I blinked, taken aback by the a voice I didn't recognize as mine. It was higher, and feminine, completely unlike my own voice, or what had been my voice. I look down at my chest and screamed.

"AHHHH!!!!!!!! What are these, these THINGS?!!!!" I shrieked hysterically. Then it occurred me to check certain other areas of my body.

"...Oh...my....GOD....."

That was when I realized exactly what the mirror thing did. It had turned me into a girl. I started screaming profanities and throwing large objects at it; it remained unaffected. I gave up and ran to the gate monitor I had come out of before. I flew through it and out my computer's monitor, hitting the wall opposite. I was awoken by my sister screaming.

"Who are you?!?! Why are you in my house?!?! Oniisan!!!!! Where are you?!"

"I'm right here.." I mumbled, standing up. "You can stop screaming now."

She just stood there and stared at me.

"Yeah, yeah, I know." I walked towards her. Or at least I attempted to. I found walking in a girl's body to be quite challenging. Hikari apparently had snapped out of her surprised trance and was laughing like it was the funniest thing she'd ever seen.

"Its really not that funny.."

She calmed herself. "Well, since you're now a girl, shall I give you lessons?" She doubled over again in laughter.

"I just may need to take you up on that. I have no idea how to find the thing that did this to me, or whether doing what I did before will change me back. So can you please act like a decent human being and help me?"

"Of course I will, oniisan." She grinned a little too wide for my comfort, but I tried my best to ignore it. "Ahem. To my room then."

"YOUR room?"

"Well duh. There isn't one speck of girlness in here."

I hung my head, letting out an exasperated sigh, and followed her. Right into her glaringly girly room. I had always found it slightly painful to be in there, and had never been in her room for longer than I could help before.

"So, um, what exactly are you going to, ah, teach me?"

"You'll see," she smiled that overly big smile again and started digging through her closet.

A few minutes later she pulled a somewhat short skirt and sweater from her closet.

"You expect me to wear your clothes?!"

"Well, sure," she replied innocently. "Most sisters borrow each other clothes, or else they hand them down. And since you aren't technically delving into transvestism by doing this, it doesn't seem to odd to me."

"Won't anyone notice someone else wearing your clothes?"

"I've only worn these once. I'm not found of this outfit. No one will recognize it."

"And um," I looked around nervously. "What about, uhh..."

"What about what?"

"Uhmm," I point to my chest. "These?"

"Ooooh, yeah you're gonna need a bra," she opened a door in her dresser, rummaged around, and pulled something white and lacey out. "This should do!"

I just stared at her. I felt like I was going to ill. "Please..no...not that..please, not that.."

"Tough. You'll be very uncomfortable without one."

I flumped over onto her bed. "Dear God..."

She giggled. "Well, I'll leave so you can change. If you have any problems, let me know."

She snickered as she left the room. I inched over to the pile of clothing she had selected for my use. She'd picked out everything from underwear to socks. I dressed as fast as I could. The bra was definitely the most difficult piece to put on; I was just glad it clasped in the front rather than the back. Stared at myself in the full-length mirror on the back of the door, not sure what to think, other than I didn't look like, well, me. My hair was limp, and I was at least 4 inches shorter.

"Are you done yet?" Hikari peeked in. Her face split into another obnoxious grin. "Ooooh! You look so cute in that!"

"Uh, yeah sure," I raised an eyebrow.

"Now," she said, looking proud of what she had created. "Make up or no make up?"

"Uh, no make up.."

"If you say so. Are you planning to go out or anything?"

I thought about it for a minute. "Yeah, maybe. I don't see why I shouldn't.."

"Ok, well, just make sure to wear a pair of my shoes."

"Well duh," I rolled my eyes.

She glared at me. "Just making sure you knew to do that, geez."

"Yeah, well, I think I do want to go out," I got up and headed to the door of the apartment. "I'll see you later."

I wasn't sure why I wanted to go out. I didn't have much money, or anywhere in particular to go. So I basically ended up wandering around downtown for a few hours. After walking around for so long, and in heels, I needed to sit down. It took awhile to find an empty bench, but when I did it felt really good to sit down. I didn't realize it was in front of the shop Sora worked at until I heard a familiar voice behind me.

"Well, ah, I guess this is where we part today."

It was Yamato. I nearly fell off the bench.

"Yeah. Well, I'll call you later." Sora's voice.

A silence, during which I'm guessing a kiss was taking place. A bell jangled from within the shop, and I heard Yamato begin to walk away. I watched him, wishing he would go away faster, but to my despair, he stopped, and looked back. He eyes fell from the shop to me.

"Hey," He strode toward me. "Waiting for someone?"

"Uhh, not really," I looked down trying not to make eye contact. I wanted him to leave.

But instead of leaving, he sat down next to me on the bench. He looked to be thinking about something, then said, "I don't think I've ever seen you in this part of town before."

"Oh," I stared at my lap, nervous for some reason. "I'm not down here often, that's all."

His eyes shifted down to me. "Hey, why the face? Something the matter?"

"Ahh," I looked up at him, a bit surprised. "Oh, nothing, I'm just..uhm.."

He chuckled a little, before resting his face in a soft smile. "Nervous? Eh, I don't blame you..I am being kind of forward. My name's Yamato, by the way."

"My names Ta-" I stopped myself before saying my real name. "Ah, Takako."

His smiled widened a bit. "That's a cute name."

"Ah.." I could feel myself blushing, though I didn't know why. I think he found it amusing. He chuckled again.

"Well," he smiled directly at me this time. "Are you doing anything right now?"

"Ah, that is, no, I'm not."

"Want to, ah, hang out?"

"Ahh-" I looked down again, then back a him. "Are you sure that's a, ah, good idea? People might think we're, um.."

"Nahh, nothing wrong with a guy hanging out with a girl."

He had me there. What was I supposed to tell him? No, I wish you would go away, you're freaking me out? Being a girl is confusing.

"I guess..."

"Aw, c'mon, I don't bite," he smiled at me warmly. I blushed again. He chuckled yet again. "I don't think I've seen a girl blush this hard around me since my girlfriend asked me out."

I stared at, a bit startled. "Oh, real funny."

He started giggling.

"You're the first guy I've ever met that giggles.."

He straightened up a bit, stifling back some giggles. "I know its odd. You think I'm bad, then don't ever be around me when I'm with my best friend. All we do is giggle. And at almost everything."

I just looked at him, most likely stupidly, because he giggled when I did. But that was the first time anyone told me I giggle. I think the two of us must be really scary when we're together. Well, when I'm a guy, that is. Maybe I'll work on being a little less scary if I ever get my own body back. But for now I had to concentrate on keeping my cover going. So far, he had absolutely no clue whatsoever, and I want to keep it that way. I turned my head to look at him, deciding at the same time to drop some of the stupidity. He seemed a bit surprised by my sudden change of face, but quickly forgot.

"So, what shall we do?"

"Up to you, considering you'll be the money," I stood up, glancing down at him as I did. 

He had clearly not expected that response. And I think I was enjoying the power I had over him as a girl a little too much. He shook his head, muttering and smiling to himself. When he stood up, I really noticed how much shorter I was than I had been. He wasn't that tall, about an inch taller than I was, but now he had about 5 or 6 inches on me. He turned to look at me again.

"So what do you want to do?"

"Didn't we already cover that?"

He giggled again. "I don't care where we go, even if I'm about to become a walking wallet."

"Do you treat your girlfriend this well?"

"Are you kidding?" He paused, smiling a little. "I spoil her rotten. She loves it."

"So basically," I looked at him inquisitively. "You're just a ladies' man that spoiled every girl he meets?"

"Ahh-" I had a feeling he hadn't expected that one either. And I also a feeling that I was slipping into my own personality again. "Well, if that's what you want to call it...uh, sure."

I blinked at him, dumbfounded. He wasn't even going to try to deny it. "Well then," I looked at him, grinning what I was sure was a rather evil looking grin. "Let's do something expensive!"

I heard him groan, then laugh. He clasped one of his hands down on the top of my head, and continued to giggle. "You are the strangest girl I've met in while.."

"I strive at it," I giggled myself that time.

"I can see that," he said as he navigated me around a corner.

"Hey, hey, where are you leading me?"

"To where all the expensive activities lie," he sent me a very sarcastic look, and I must have returned it, because he immediately started to giggle again.

"Oh shut up," I messed with the hand on my head, and found, to my dismay, that I could not remove it. "Come on, let go of me, c'mon..."

He continued to giggle. We walked along for several minutes like that: bickering and with me trying to removed a firmly plastered hand from my head. I thought it was humiliating; he seemed to having the time of his life. I gave it up when I figured out where to go.

"How about a movie?" I looked up at him innocently.

"Ahhh," he turned slightly pale, imagining the cost, no doubt. "Sure, why not.."

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A/N: Ok, this has turned into an acid trip and a half. But this is only the beginning. Hopefully the other chapters won't be this godawfully long, either. I hadn't noticed how long it was until I hit page 5. Then I did a double take. But, uh, I hope y'all enjoyed the beginning of this little 'trip'. And can you smell the taito yet? Hehe.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I can't believe I finally finished this chapter. I actually finished writing it about two weeks ago. I just took forever to type it up. ^^; Gomen ne. But it is finished now, and I should be updating again sometime in the next month. It'll take awhile for anything, er, really fun to happen in one, since most of the, uh, 'action' will take place at the end. Do be prepared for angsty (and indecisive) Taichi (my specialty), fairly soon, though. Hehe. And Yamato will conitnue to be extremely dense about everything.

Taichi will be a male again soon, too. Which means he'll make an idiot of himself around poor, dense (read: complete moron) Yamato. Heh. ^_^

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. If I did, one of the frontier boys would morph into a female digimon, kay?

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For the first time in my life, I felt guilty because I was having fun. It felt wrong to be having fun because I had lied to someone. What was worse was that I didn't really have any reason to lie. I felt like I was having fun at Yamato's expense, even though he had no idea of what was going on.

"Takako?"

"Eh?" I glanced up at him. It was a weird feeling having to look up to see his face. "Ah, sorry..just thinking.."

"Something wrong?" He looked genuinely concerned.

"Its nothing," it felt like I had said that too quickly. I didn't really care if he noticed or not; I just wanted him to stop looking at me like that. "I..should really be getting home."

"I'll walk you," he gave me that friendly smile again. I hate it when he smiles like that. It seems like he's trying to hard when he puts it on.

"I, uh," What was I supposed to do, refuse him? "Sure..thanks."

"Unless..you don't want me to?" He actually looked a little hurt.

"I-uh, well, its not that," Why was I stuttering?

"Then..what?" He looked thoughtful for a moment. "Come on, you can tell me."

"I-oh, well, I..oh never mind," I shook my head and smiled.

Smiled?

"Great," he smiled back. "So where to?"

"Uh, this way," I started walking on ahead.

"Hmm," He looked around, as if he was trying to decide if he were somewhere familiar.

"What?" I looked at him curiously. "What is it?"

"I'd swear," he continued looking around. "We're headed to the same area my best friend lives in.."

"Ah..really?" It hadn't occurred to me to lead him somewhere other than where I actually lived.

"Yeah, its definitely near here," he nodded.

I felt like finding the nearest wall and banging my head into it. I wasn't able to do this however; we turned another corner and a familiar apartment complex loomed over us.

"Hey, I was right," he look impressed with himself. How nice to know how hard it is for him to remember where I live. I felt my eyes roll back in my head.

"Well," I took a deep breath, readying myself for another set of lies. "Well..I guess this is it?"

"Not going to let me walk you to your door?"

"Oh..that's not..necessary."

"Oh but I insist," he smiled, and then grabbed my hand, pull me through the parking lot. "Now which building?"

"Uh," I sighed, feeling defeated. I pointed at my building. "That one."

"You even live in the same building as him!"

"Really?" I could have really used that wall right about then. "You..don't say.."

We walked the rest of the way to my apartment in silence. Not just silence, though; it was a horrible, uncomfortable silence, a type of silence I'm not sure I've ever shared with him. It almost made me sad; although why it made me feel this way, I'm not sure I'll even know. At least he didn't seem to notice anything about where we were headed. Well, he didn't notice anything until we were right in front of my door, and he could see the number.

"What the-"

"I-" I had to think fast, think of a way to get out of this one. "I was over here earlier...I..forgot something when I left."

"Oh," he looked a little disappointed, which made me happy and annoyed all at the same time, though I'm not sure why it annoyed me. "I guess you've, uh, already met my friend.."

"Uhm, well," I glanced at him, as I knocked on the door. "I haven't met him yet, just his er, sister?"

"Sister-? Oh, Hikari," he looked relieved. "Yeah, she is. His sister, I mean."  
  


The door opened a crack, revealing a cautious eye. I gave the eye an unamused look. It blinked and the door opened the rest of the way.

"Hi," I did my best to sound like someone who had only been there once before. "Can I come in for a minute?"

She raised an eyebrow, looking from me to Yamato, then back at me. "Sure.."

She closed the door behind me when I stepped in, then rounded on me. "Onii-chan, just what have you done this time?"

"I haven't 'done' anything," I glared at her, though I was more angry at myself than her. "I'll explain later okay?"

When I went back to the door, Yamato was leaning against one side of the door frame looking rather bored. The boredom seemed completely erased when he saw me, however. I felt really bad then, though I wasn't sure why.

"You ready to-" He cut himself off when he saw my face. It must have been painfully obvious what was going through my mind right then, since his expression changed. "What's wrong?"

"Oh...nothing," I tried to shake my mood and expression on my face away, but I don't think it worked. "She invited me to spend the night."

"Oh," he looked surprised. "Why do you look so disappointed, then?"

"Oh-" At this point, I was at a complete loss as to why I was feeling this way. If anything, I should have been feeling relieved; I certainly shouldn't have felt disappointed. "Well its just.."

"Just what?"

"Well," I smiled, feeling a little stupid to be saying what I was about to, even though I wasn't lying this time. "I've been walked home by a guy before..I don't like having to cut it..short."

"Ohh," he looked almost to happy to hear that, like it had been what he had wanted to hear. "Well, next time then, huh?"

"Next-?"

"Oh," he blinked. "Well, I was hoping there would be a 'next time'."

"Yeah, uh, I mean, that would be..nice," I didn't know what I was saying anymore; I did,  however, know that it was the absolute truth, as much as that scared me. "Well..I'll see you around, I guess."

"Yeah," he nodded, his expression brightening. "See you soon."

I watched him leave until he was too far away to see anymore, longer than I think I ever had before.

"Onii-chan?" I felt Hikari's hand on my shoulder. "You want to talk about it now?"

"I-yeah," I turned to face her. "That would be nice."

"Come on," she lead me inside, to her room. "Now do you mind telling me just what the hell you were planning to do with Yamato?"

"I wish I knew," I looked away from her. "I ran into him in front of the Takenouchi's flower shop."

"And you somehow ended up spending the rest of the day with him?"

"Hey, he made the first move," I gave her an annoyed look. "What was I supposed to do, tell him to get lost?"

"Well you could have at least explained the situation to him," she looked at me reprovingly. "What did you do when he asked for your name?"

"I-" I hung my head. "-Made one up."

"Oh, really? So who have you become?"

"Takako."

"Takako..that's almost..cute," she nodded, apparently approving. "Last name?"

"Uh..he didn't ask."

"Oh. Well then," she raised an eyebrow. "And if he had..?"

"Uh...Yamamoto?" I hadn't really thought of that. "Pretty average and unsuspicious, right?"

"Sure," she smiled, looking almost proud. I was beginning to think I was some kind of creation, and she was the mad scientist who had made me.

"What are you so happy about?"

"I have to hand it to you," she looked me in the eye. "He has clue who you are."

"Really?" I guess he really is as dense as I think.

"Really." She paused, then added, "You would make an excellent con man."

"I would not," I glared at her, resisting the urge to stick my tongue out. "Well, I guess it's a good thing, at least right now."

There was a short silence. I was broken by the sound of the front door opening.

"Mom's home," Hikari looked panicked. "What do we tell her?!"

"Duh," I poked her on the side of the head. "We tell her I'm the new girl, and I'm spending the night."

"No, no, no," she shook her head. "I meant what do we tell her about..well, where you are?"

"I-" I sat there, too stunned to think clearly. "I guess I'm gonna be gone tonight, huh?"

"Who can we get to play along and cover for you?" She looked worried. "Yamato would have been easy to convince if you hadn't sucked him into this little game!"

"I know, I know," I was still having trouble thinking clearly. "Uh, uhm...what about, uhm...Daisuke?"

"I guess that would work," she nodded,  little reluctantly, probably thinking about having to deal with Daisuke. "He should be more than willing to do a favor for me."

I rolled my eyes even though I know she was right. For once in my life, I was actually glad that Daisuke was such a sucker for my sister. Then I thought of another problem.

"My shoes!"

"Your-?"

"They're by the front door," I could feel myself panicking. "If I'm not home, my shoes shouldn't be home either!"

"Oh man," she seemed to thinking hard. "We'll just..tell you wore a different pair..or something.."

I sighed. "I guess we don't have much choice.."

There was a knock on the door. "Hikari, are you in there?"

"Yeah," Hikari got up and answered the door.

"Okay, just letting you know I'm home." My mom smiled, then noticed me. "Who's this? I don't think I've ever seen her before."

"She's new," Hikari motioned towards me as I came over to the door. "Takako Yamamoto."

"Well hello, Takako," my mom smiled and bowed a little. "I hope you like it here."

I bowed back. "Well, uh, I like what I've seen so far."

"She's spending the night," Hikari looked at or mother hopefully. "It's okay, right?"

"I suppose," my mo nodded and back out of the room. "Have you eaten yet?"

I shook my head. "No, I haven't."

"Well then, I'll be cooking for-" She counted on her fingers. "Five tonight?"

"Oh!" Hikari seemed to have suddenly remembered something. "Just four. Taichi is at Daisuke's...I think he's spending the night."

"Oh..well, alright then. I wish you kids would warn me about these things."

"Sorry," Hikari nodded. "I'll warn you next time. I can't say the same thing for Taichi, but I'll tell him."

My mom gave her an approving look, and finally left to cook dinner. I slumped on the floor, against Hikari's bed. She sat down next to me looking relieved. We sat there for a moment before she had another revelation.

"Hey.."

"What?"

"She didn't even notice your shoes."

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A/N: Oh, and I lied about not making this one as long. Whoops?


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: @_@; This chapter got really depressing. It also wasn't easy to write, because its really hard to describe what Taichi is feeling and going through. This story has become really psychological, too. I think that's a good thing, though. x_x; Anyways, this chapter is a little bit shorter than the last two, but it has accomplished what it was supposed to at least. On a side note, I think this shall be done in two more chapters, which is what I've been aiming for since I figured out exactly what was going to happen. The Taito is starting to show its face in this chapter, at least. ^^;

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to run defrag on my comp again because it refuses to finish the process. _; And I'm feeling too lazy to write a disclaimer.

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I didn't open my eyes right away when I woke the next morning. When I did open them, the events of the previous day came flooding back, as I had feared they would. I had been hoping that it had all been a dream, but waking up in my sister's room had proved it to be reality.

I sat up, and immediately noticed that the pajamas that I had borrowed from Hikari the night before felt significantly tighter than they had when I put them on. I slowly turned my eyes downwards, to my chest; the top of the pajamas was stretched tightly over a very flat and male looking chest. I blinked, then continued inspecting my body until I was satisfied. I was male again. How, or when, I didn't know. Nor did I care. I was just glad to be me again.

Of course, my happiness was to be short lived, because I realized the situation was not as good as it seemed. I remembered that I was supposed to be at Daisuke's, not in my sister's room. I panicked, then ran across the room to Hikari's bed.

"Hikari," I nudged her with one hand. She mumbled something incoherent, and turned over. I nudged harder. "Wake up, damn it."

She grumbled, and turned back over. "What?"

"I changed back," I gave her very pointed look.

"Changed-? Well, then change and go to your room then," she looked at me as if that was an obvious thing to do. "Just leave me alone."

"In case you forgot, I'm supposed to be at Daisuke's And Takako is supposed to be here still."

"Takako had to go home really early, then."

"Oh," I should have been able to figure that out. I think being a girl made me stupider or something. "I guess. But what about me?."

"Change clothes and sneak out," she said simply. "Now get out."

"Yeah," I sighed, resigning myself to having to be sneaky again. "I guess I have no choice."

"Just leave, already!" She turned over in a rather violent manner to illustrate her point.

I stuck my tongue out at her before taking the pajamas off. It felt extremely weird, being in my sister's room, wearing nothing but my underwear. I blocked it out my mind, and cautiously opened the door. The apartment was still dark, so I figured no one was awake yet except me. I dove out of her room and into mine in what felt like one movement. After hastily throwing on the clothes I had been wearing the previous day before my trip to the digital world, I snuck out of my room and out the front door.

I glanced at my watch, which read 9:25. I had been wandering around for about two hours. I hadn't realized I'd been out for even one hour, probably because I had been so wrapped up in my thoughts. I still felt really guilty about lying to Yamato, but I felt even more guilty because I knew I would do it again in a heartbeat. The only thing was, I didn't know why. Every time I got close to the answer, a knot would form in my stomach and I would lose my train of thought to my guilt and hesitation.

I decided to find somewhere to sit down, because I was bound to run into something eventually if I didn't. As I was looking around for a bench, I realized I where I was.  Sora's Mother's store was about 2 and half blocks away from where I stood; the nearest bench was the one in front of it. I smiled to myself, amused by the irony of the situation, and continued up the street to the bench.

Somehow finding myself there seemed appropriate, but at the same time I almost wished I had turned and gone the other direction. My emotions and thoughts were already controlling my mind; now they were controlling my feet as well. I stared down at the ground, wondering why I couldn't just let everything that I felt the day before go. At the time that it was happening, I had just assumed the knot in my stomach was simply the guilt I was feeling over lying to Yamato, but now...

...But now, I knew it wasn't so simple. And I couldn't admit to myself that my feelings were true, when I didn't even know what it was I was feeling. I think I had some vague idea, somewhere in the back of my mind of what it was, but I blocked my mind from even thinking of such an absurd idea.

With that conclusion, or lack thereof, I looked up, scanning the street. There weren't as many people as there had been the day before, something I was somewhat glad of. As I was bringing my gaze back up the street, I heard the sound of a door opening behind me. I felt my muscles tense, in a slight, and unnecessary, panic. I turned to see who was leaving the store. My panic didn't seem quite as unnecessary as it had when my eyes fell on an uneasy looking Yamato.

He blinked, in what must have been surprise when he saw me there. I responded with an annoyed look, which he somehow took as an invitation to join me on the bench. I just stared at him. He smiled, his mood making a very abrupt change from what it had been moments earlier.

"Hey," he continued to smile, which normally wouldn't have bothered me, except that it was so different than the smile he had been constantly wearing the day before. "What're you doing here?"

"Uhm, just out for a walk," I looked at him, feeling extremely apprehensive. "Since when do you actually go in the store?"

"When I'm here to shop," he replied simply, like it should have been obvious.

"To shop?" I gave him a bemused look. "Wouldn't it make more sense to buy your girlfriend some slightly more..conventional flowers?"

"My-? Oh, I'm not shopping for her. I'm shopping for-" He cut himself off, and turned away from me. "Uh, uhm, nobody?"

"I'm sure," I grabbed his ear, yanking his head back to face me. "No weaseling your way out of this."

"Damn," he put on a look of mock despair, before his lips fell into another smile, even though his eyes stayed sad. "Well, it probably won't matter what I do anyway. She's not the type who'd go for another girl's boyfriend, ya know?"

"Who's not that type?"

"Oh, that's right," he looked like he had suddenly remembered something important. "I didn't actually tell you about her yet. I only met her yesterday, anyway."

He was talking about me. Or Takato, rather. It didn't matter to me at that moment. The only thing I cared about then was the knot in my stomach which had tripled in size when he said that. It was mostly from the guilt of knowing that he was getting screwed up over a girl who wasn't real, a girl I had pretended to be just to have a good time.

"Her name is Takako," he continued talking; I guess he took my silence has a cue to keep going. "She lives in your building too. She already met Hikari."

"Oh?" I gulped, and feigned ignorance. "I wasn't home last night, so I guess I missed meeting her.."

"Yeah, that's what Hikari said," he nodded, and then went on. "Its too bad, too. We could've had a party last night if you'd been home, since she ended up spending the night with your sister."

"I'm so sure my mom would have let us," I raised an eyebrow, then immediately gave myself a mental slap for saying that without even thinking.

"Yeah, I guess," he looked away again. "It probably wouldn't have made much of a difference anyways."

I glanced at him; I felt bad for what I had said, and because I could see just how taken he had been with Takako. I wanted to take back everything I had said to him the day before, or make him forget it happened. But at the same time, I wanted nothing more than for him to keep talking about Takako; I wanted what he was saying to be true. And my heart fell when I realized that what he was saying was only as true as Takako was real.

"Taichi?" His voice drew me away from my thoughts the way being punched in the stomach takes your breath away. "Look, I've got to go..uhm, can you pass on a message for me?"

"A message?" I looked at him curiously before realizing what he meant. "Oh, you mean to Takako. Yeah, I guess I can."

"Uhm, thanks," he smiled graciously, looking a little sheepish. "Just tell her to come to my apartment around three o'clock tomorrow. I just want to talk, so make sure she doesn't take the invitation the wrong way, okay?"

"Okay. I think I can remember that," I smiled, even though the I was being visited with the familiar feeling of wanting to ram my head into a brick wall. "I'll get the message through somehow."

"Thanks," he stood up, and turned to walk away. "Talk to you later."

"Yeah," I didn't stand; I didn't think my legs would support me even if I tried. "See ya.."

I sat there for awhile, slowly realizing exactly what the knot in my stomach was, and just how much I had managed to screw up in such a short amount of time. I looked down at my hands, wondering if I would be feeling this way if I had never become Takako; I wondered if I would have even been able to see Yamato this way at all.

That night, I went back into the digital world, even though I knew that it would have been better to show up at Yamato's apartment the next day as myself and tell him the truth. It was probably because I hadn't admitted just how deep my feelings were beginning to run, but for some reason, that seemed a worse fate than continuing to lie to him.

I wandered around aimlessly for awhile before I was able to find the mysterious object that had started everything. When I found it, I didn't do anything very immediately; I just looked at it. It seemed amazing to me that something that looked so simple could be so powerful. I reached out to touch it, but I didn't plunge my hand into it the way I had before; I ran my fingers across the surface, watching it ripple and flow. It was really a thing of beauty; it was like a puddle of mercury hanging in mid air.

I paused my hand, in what looked like the center, and slowly plunged it in. I hadn't realized how cold it was the last time; it felt like I was dipping my hand in liquid nitrogen, like my arm was going to shatter into a million pieces if I moved it. The cold faded quickly though, and everything went black.

I opened my eyes, as found myself lying on the grass in front of it. I didn't move right away, remembering how dizzy it had made me before. I didn't want to go back into the real world anyway. The real world was full of lies and pain, and all I felt there was shame  for everything I was putting Yamato through, and all for my own selfish ends.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: At long last, it is here- the last chapter of this story. Yeah, I know I said it was going to be five chapters. Well, the plot decided to shrink a bit, so its only four chapters. I hope this satisfies the cravings of those who have been waiting to read this. I feel horrible about taking so long to finish this, but being a college student has changed my lifestyle more than a little, and I'm often not home until about midnight most days of the week, not counting weekends, which I use for sleeping.

At any rate, I *have* finished this, so read and enjoy. :)

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I stood in the parking lot in front of Yamato's apartment building, wondering just what in the hell I was doing there, and wondering just how long I could manage to keep doing this before I cracked. Staring up at the building, I realized just how terrified I was; both of just going in there, and trying not screw up.

I forced my feet to move me to the building, and inside, knowing that I wasn't doing the most intelligent thing. At that point, I don't think I really cared. I just wanted to see him smile at me that was again, that particular smile he only gave to Takako.

I found myself in front of his door sooner than I had had liked. I raised my hand to knock, but found that I couldn't go through with it. I stood there like that for longer than I should have, before turning and running.

I ran and ran, where to I don't remember. I just kept running until I couldn't anymore. I just felt so utterly disgusted with myself that I didn't know what else to do. I wanted to see him so badly, I wanted him to fall in love with me. But I was slowly realizing I didn't want it to be some kind of game. I wanted it to be real. I wanted to tell him as myself, but I knew I couldn't.

I leaned against the wall of a building catching my breath as I tried to make sense of things in my head. That was when my cell phone began ringing. I took it out of my bag, and looked at the caller. It was a text message from Yamato, asking why Takako hadn't shown up. Stupidly, I wondered why he hadn't actually called. Then I realized he wasn't thinking about anything besides her.

Sighing, I replied, telling him that she had told me that she already had made plans. After sending it, I began to wonder if I was really losing my mind now.

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It was dark by the time that I got home, and I found Hikari waiting anxiously for me in foyer. She looked at me expectantly.

"Nothing happened," I told her flatly. "I didn't go."

"You didn't-?" She looked at me curiously. "How come?"

"I- I don't wanna talk about it!" I told her furiously, before kicking off my shoes and running to my room.

I slammed the door rather loudly behind myself after entering my bedroom. I sat down on my bed and stared at my computer, blaming it for everything.

Then my phone rang. Again. Stupid phone. I answered it of course, forgetting that my voice was not exactly mine right then.

"Moshi moshi," I began nervously.

"Taichi-? Is that you-?" Yamato's voice answered uncertainly.

"Ah- Ah-" I hung up. I wanted to talk him, I really did. But I didn't really feel like explaining why I sounded not just like a girl, but like Takako.

I stared at my computer again, now not mad at it so much as I just felt empty. I felt numb, and very lost. I tried to understand why this was happening to me, and I just couldn't. It was like some horrible joke.

I stood up and walked over to my computer. I fingered the power button unconsciously before pushing it. I sat down at the motor began to whir, not really sure of what I was going to do next, other than go back in.

I harsh blast of wind hit me as I got my bearings, stinging my cheeks. I was near it, I knew that for certain. I wondered if maybe touching while I was Takako might turn me back to my normal state.

Well, it was worth a shot.

I ran around aimlessly for awhile, unsure of where it was exactly. When I found it at last, I didn't do anything right away. I just looked at it, examined it; I tried to give it a name, but I couldn't. Maybe it didn't have a name. All the while I stood there, studying it, I could feel it watching me, looking at a part of me no one else could see.

"All right," I told it, quietly, stroking the surface with my left hand. "Do what you will, you have me."

I plunged into it, the cold sweeping over me, into me, through me. Nothing else in any universe could ever feel quite the same. It was a truly unreal experience. And it was beginning to become addictive.

As soon as I felt the cold, everything went black; reality was gone, and I still don't know exactly where it takes you before sending you back. Not that it mattered to me.

When I opened my eyes, the world around me had changed completely. It was no longer cold or windy, but warm and still. I stood up, not sure now of where I had come from.

Of course, that would be the least of my worries that day.

I began walking away in the direction I thought I had come from, not really concerned about how long I had been, and now would be here. As reached a clearing that I hadn't seen before, I heard my name called.

"Taichi-!"

"Who's there?" I whirled around, startled and defensive.

"Relax, it just me," he said, his hands raised in a motion of surrender. Smiling, he walked over to me.

"Why the hell are you here?"

"Why not?" he looked at me, very obviously taken aback by my defensiveness. "Actually, Hikari told me you were here."

"She did? Well, remind me to kill her when I get home," I told him, in much annoyance.

"Maybe this isn't the time to ask you if you know why Takako couldn't come," he said, looking away.

"Yes, Yamato, it is a bad time," I replied quietly.

"Are you okay?"

"What-?" I stared at him dumbly.

"You seemed really tense," he said, shrugging. "do you want to tell me-"

"No, I don't," I said sharply.

"Oh," he looked a little hurt at my abrasiveness.

"Sorry."  
  


"No, its okay," he shook his head dismissively.

"No, it's not," I said. "It's really, really not."

Yamato looked at me, eyebrows knitted a little. He was definitely at a loss, and I felt horrible for making him feel that way.

I started running.

"Taichi, wait-!"

I didn't heed him. I couldn't be near him, I couldn't trust myself around him. I was losing control, and I didn't want him there to see me lose it.

Of course, that would have required outrunning him, which he was determined not to let me do. I realized, as I looked back at him that I running towards it. And I didn't know why. I just knew that I couldn't go anywhere but back to it.

"Taichi-" Yamato gasped between breaths. "Where are you going-?"

"Stop following me!" I caught a glimpse of my goal. I could see it rippling and shimmering some ways off.

Yamato saw it too. He let out a startled noise, and realization dawned on his face.

I slowed down as I neared it. I wasn't going to lose him, so it wasn't worth trying any longer. He slowed down as he reached my side. It loomed in front of us, just beyond some shrubs and one large tree.

"Taichi, what the hell is that?" Yamato looked at me, knowing that I knew.

"That, Yamato," I told him, catching my breath still. "Is my nightmare, my answer, and my escape."

"Taichi-"

I walked over to it, standing directly in front of it. I touched it lightly with my right hand, longing to enter it again.

"What are you doing?!" Yamato shoved me away from it, knocking both of us down.

I picked myself up, and lunged at him, throwing a punch at his face. He caught my fist and flipped me over pinning me.

"Taichi, what is wrong you?!"

"Let me go and I'll show you what's wrong with me!" I screamed.

"I shouldn't," he said quietly. "Because I know you'll do something stupid. But-"

He got up, freeing me. I stared at him, stunned, before standing up. I ran past him, into it's arms. Cold lashed at me, and freed me from my senses.

When I opened my eyes, I was standing, supported by a very shocked and anxious Yamato.

"Who are you?" He whispered.

I looked at him, unable to speak. I felt a hand slide through my hair, but when I looked up, I saw that Yamato was avoiding eye contact with me. I sighed. His eyes turned down to me, away from the sky they had been staring at.

I pulled away, still unsure of how to explain myself, for which he was clearing waiting, and stepped over to where it stood.

"What is that thing?" He asked me again.

"I already told you," I said without looking at him. I felt him come up behind me.

"I still don't understand," he said quietly.

"If I could explain better, I would."

"I know. It's just that-" he paused, "I can't do this- I can't talk to you while you're not, well, you. Could you-?"

"Is that really what you want?" I looked at him, nonplussed.

"Yes."

I didn't say anything. I starred it down before slowly walking into and through it. Cold washed over me and I was gone for a moment. Waking, again in his arms, I felt strangely lost.

"Are you alright?"

"Huh?" I looked at him stupidly, then shook my head.

"Good," he said, letting me go. I clung to him, too scared to move. He understood, but lead me to the base of the large tree, where we both sat, leaning against its massive trunk.

I felt his hand on my shoulder, and looked over at him. He looked as lost as I felt.

"What is going on?"

"I-" My throat closed up, as I tried to choke out my word. Instead, I just started crying. I felt an arm slip around me, and I fell into it. We sat like that for awhile, he still confused and I lost in his arms.

"Taichi?" He said my name softly, causing me to look up suddenly. Wiping my eyes with his hand, he whispered, "You don't need to say anything." 

I just stared at him. He continued, aware that I wasn't going to able to speak for some while longer.

"I understand," he told me, now looking me in the eyes. I drew away, but he kept hold of me. "Though I think I'd rather you told me as yourself. No more secrets, no more masks."

"Yamato-" I took a deep breath. "I don't think I know how to say it-"

"I'm not asking you to think, I'm asking you to feel," he said softly.

"I- I know- It's just-" I closed my eyes. Looking at him, I asked, "I'm not sure how I feel."

He looked at me, his face betraying his doubt. As he looked at me, I took his hand in my own without really thinking. He made a surprised noise, but didn't pull away. I looked at him, meeting his gaze. His face was confident enough, but his eyes were absolutely terrified.

I brought my other hand up to his face, brushing some hair out of it. It startled him, and he backed away.

"I-" He began, his voice shaking.

"You don't have to except it," I told him, tightening my grip on his hand. "But that won't change how I feel."

"I know," he replied, nodding. He looked at our hands, frowning a little. "I can't deny the fact that it was your personality I was attracted to, not how you looked."

I looked at him, knowing my surprise must have been evident on my face. He lifted my hand up, still intertwined in his own, and touched it to his face. I moved a little closer to him, realizing that he was gradually becoming more comfortable with the situation and with me.

"Yamato-" I searched his eyes, wanting to know that I was reading his actions right. Before I could say anything more, however, he put his other arm around me, bringing me so close that we were touching. He let go of my hand, freeing his own to touch my face; his fingers slid down my cheek as his face came close to mine.

He paused, as if he had suddenly realized what he was doing. "Yamato?"

He didn't say anything. I could feel his breath on my face, feel his heart racing through where our bodies met. Taking his face in my hands, I asked, "Why'd you stop?"

"I-" He looked me directly in the eyes. They were pleading with me, pleading for me to tell him that this was right. I couldn't say anything, and a moment later It seemed that I hadn't needed to.

He closed his eyes and our lips finally met. His were trembling, scared, but soft. It was quick, and as soon as it was over, he let go of me.

"Taichi?" He asked, his voice quivering.

I looked at him. "Are you okay?"

"I-" He looked away. "I'm not sure."

"Are you afraid of me, Yamato?"

"No," he said, his voice sure and steady. He looked at me again. "I'm just- a little confused, I guess."

I settled myself next to him as he spoke, taking his hand in mine again as he spoke. He didn't say or do anything when I did, which I took as an improvement over how he had reacted previously. He looked at me curiously after finishing his sentence, as though expecting me to do something.

"Yamato," I began, half in annoyance, half in amusement. "Whatever you're expecting me to do, I'm not going to do it."

"Oh, I wasn't expecting anything, not really," he said, shaking his head; the barest hint of a smile played at the corners of his mouth, and his voice sounded lighter than it had since he first showed up in the digital world that day. "I was just thinking we ought to go home soon."

"Yamato," I said, smiling at him. "We are home."

He said nothing; the tips of his fingers brushed along my palm as he smiled, really smiled for the first time that day. As he smiled and played with my fingers, all I could do was smile back.


End file.
